People continue to injest a substance daily without actually knowing what it is. In fact, there are many ingested substances whose origins are unknown or uncared about. It is unclear why people continue to be ignorant regarding what they put in their mouths but it is something I intend to rectify. Starting with Butter.

It all starts with cows. Cows are creatures of the Ruminant family. They eat grass and digest it by regurgitating it and swallowing it again in order to transfer it from stomach to stomach and get all the nutrients out. Essentially they eat their own puke. This is a very efficient way to eat as they get all the nutrients out of the grass possible. We can't eat grass because our stomachs, and entire digestive system in fact, is horribly inefficient. But basically, a cow is built from grass (or hay, if you want to be technical). It is incredible if you think about it, cows eat grass. Cows are made of grass. Cows are seriously transformed grass. That's it. Well, also water. Grass and water. They don't look very much like grass and water, but that is what they are. Grass and water. And everything that comes out of them is also grass and water. That includes their urine, excrement and of course, milk, of which a part is butter. That means that the only difference between cow urine and butter is which parts of the grass come out of which hole.

The cows we have today aren't the original cows. They were bred the way they are by farmers over hundreds and hundreds of years through a process known as 'Animal Husbandry'. It basically means people kept choosing the best cows out of their herd over and over again and bred them with each other until they came out with the absolute best cows and bred a whole herd of them. Anyone who tells you the idea of evolution is new obviously hasn't heard of Animal Husbandry, which was done literally thousands of years ago. It is a process of 'Artificial Selection' to make a breed better. Darwin didn't invent this theory, that's just dumb to say that. What he did was revive it and spin it to 'natural selection'. Basically he just said that nature does Animal Husbandry all on its own, making different breeds grow up in different ways to get different results.

So how were cows bred? They were bred in two kinds: Meat cows and milk cows. We're only dealing with the milk cows here. Animals generally only produce milk when they are near the end of pregnancy or with a newborn child. This is so that their child can drink milk and grow up without having to feed on its own, since newborn children aren't able to do that yet. It's a really weird mammal thing. Of course, the other species' aren't any better; birds, for example, pre-eat food for their children and then throw it back up right in their babies' mouths, so that their babies really eat bird puke. Milk is the mammal version of bird-puke. It's a predigested mixture of all the basic food stuffs needed to survive, ready to be taken in by babies.

The cows we have nowadays, however, were mutated (through a semi-natural process) to produce milk year round no matter what. In fact, it is so bad that cows need to be milked EVERY DAY or they get sore udders and cramp. I'm not sure if it's true or not, but I heard that if they go too long without being milked their udders actually explode.

Milk cows are NOT natural. Not in any way. No animal is supposed to produce that much milk. No animal is supposed to be dependent on being milked to keep them from exploding. No, milk cows are mutants. We are thus drinking milk from mutant cows.

Now getting to milk itself. Milk is mostly water. About 87% water. The remaining 13% is made up of various solids. about 2.5-6% is fats (which is the part that butter is made out of). About 3.4% is protein, 4.8% is a chemical called 'Lactose' and the remaining 0.8% or so is made out of various minerals.

Remember that all of this stuff originally comes from GRASS. Picture the cow as a kind of factory that takes grass, breaks it down to tiny little microscopic bits and reforms it into flesh and blood, then takes some of that blood and transforms it into a white puss-like liquid which we call 'milk'.

In order to make butter, farmers need to take the milk and get all the fat out - the 2.5-6% that's in it. To do that they let it sit out for a while until all the fat, which is lighter than the rest of the milk and stays separate since it is insoluble, floats to the top of the milk and settles into what is called 'Cream'. Cream is basically milk-fat, with a bit of milk left in it. They then take this cream and churn it, meaning they pound and mix it really fast and hard until the fat part and the watery part mix together in an UNNATURAL way. Think about it like this. Water and oil are naturally separate. They don't mix. Water hangs out with water and oil hangs out with oil. Oil always floats to the top where the oil hangs out and water stays low where the water hangs out. Like Jocks and Geeks. Jocks hang out in the weight room down in the basement acting all gay sweating together, while Geeks hang out upstairs in the computer room playing crappy computer games while the teachers aren't looking. They don't mix. Then imagine someone takes the school and pounds it and shakes it until the computer room and weight room merge, mingling the clever Geeks with the gay Jocks. More than that, every gets gets somehow chained to a couple jocks so that they become inseparable, what a nightmare! How's the geek supposed to play crappy video games if he's chained to a couple gay jocks doing their workout?

It's not natural I tell you, NOT NATURAL!!!!

So basically then, what is butter? Butter is parts of grass that has been transformed into part of a mutated cow, then excreted through udders that could explode at any time, shaken up and chained together in an unnatural mixture that is usually smeared on a thin section of a bleached wheat-extract conglomerate in order to make it taste wetter.